SoulCollage® Community Suit: Smokey

 

I am one who, after living in your neighborhood for five years, decided to adopt you. I am one who is a cat about town, yet I am also loving. I am mellow and enjoy cuddling. I am one who brings you gifts of mice and birds. I am one who entices you to sit outside and watch the world with me. I am god in fur. 

What is your gift or message for me?

I am your cat, and I am not your cat. I am my own self.

What do you want me to do?

Keep loving me the way you do, with food, snuggles, and kindness. Keep coming outside to be with me. 

Why did you show up today?

You are thinking of your feline friends lately. Stella died two years ago on the day you made this card. You miss her. 

If you have a shadow, what would it be? Or, what light do you offer?

The shadow is the desire to take me in and make me yours. 

SoulCollage® Community Suit: Shinrin-Yoku

I am one who bathes in nature. I am one whose connection to nature restores my being.

What is your gift or message for me?

You are of this world and in this world. You are inseparable from it.

What do you want me to do?

Go outside. It's that simple. Sit against a tree. Lie in the grass. 

Why did you show up today?

Because nature beckons, and you've been hungry and thirsty for it.

If you have a shadow, what would it be? Or, what light do you offer?

The shadow is overgrowth. 

 

Please Speak Well of Me - The Weepies

I've been away a year and a day
You recognize love after the fact
You did what you did and that was that

Don't say words that you don't mean
When I'm gone, please speak well of me

Looking back now
I only wish I had been kinder
Did I ever know love, did I ever know love?
And could I have been blinder?

Don't hold back all your love for someday, for someday

I would say that I'm sorry if it would do any good
But to never regret means you have to forget
and I don't think that I could

Crossroads

Crossroads

My body, now that we will not be traveling together much longer 

I begin to feel a new tenderness toward you, very raw and unfamiliar, 

like what I remember of love when I was young -- 

love that was so often foolish in its objectives 

but never in its choices, its intensities.

Too much demanded in advance, too much that could not be promised --

My soul has been so fearful, so violent: 

forgive its brutality.

As though it were that soul, my hand moves over you cautiously,

not wishing to give offense

but eager, finally, to achieve expression as substance:

it is not the earth I will miss, 

it is you I will miss.

- Louise Glück

SoulCollage® Community Suit: Karen Maezen Miller Sensei

 

I am one who shows you your life as it is. I introduced you to Zen Buddhism and the "cushion of kindness." I share wisdom so you can be the mother you are, and I invited you to see your life as a spiritual practice. I am one who teaches and learns. I am your dharma mother.

What is your gift or message for me?

Buddhists are imperfect, and awakening is a process that requires practice.

What do you want me to do?

Make the commitment to put the practice on the cushion at the front and center of your life.

Why did you show up today?

To keep you company.

If you have a shadow, what would it be? Or, what light do you offer?

The shadow is deluding yourself that you are practicing simply because you know me.

Beautiful Dawn - The Wailin' Jennys

Take me to the breaking of a beautiful dawn
Take me to the place where we come from
Take me to the end so I can see the start
There's only one way to mend a broken heart

Take me to the place where I don't feel so small
Take me where I don't need to stand so tall
Take me to the edge so I can fall apart
There's only one way to mend a broken heart

Take me where love isn't up for sale
Take me where our hearts are not so frail
Take me where the fire still owns its spark
There's only one way to mend a broken heart

Teach me how to see when I close my eyes
Teach me to forgive and to apologize
Show me how to love in the darkest dark
There's only one way to mend a broken heart

Take me where the angels are close at hand
Take me where the ocean meets the sky and the land
Show me to the wisdom of the evening star
There's only one way to mend a broken heart

Take me to the place where I feel no shame
Take me where the courage doesn't need a name
Learning how to cry is the hardest part
There's only one way to mend a broken heart

Nesting

I am bone-tired at the moment. My surgery is one week from today, and I'll come home with T-Rex arms, unable to do much for the first couple weeks. So today I cleaned. Vacuumed and wet-mopped both stories, scrubbed my shower, cleaned the half-bath, laundered bath mats. I also finished putting away the now-empty rabbit hutch. 

It has not escaped my notice that this flurry of cleaning is an effort to manage anxiety. I'm a very casual housekeeper -- mostly definitely not a FlyLady devotee.

SoulCollage® Community Suit: Hazy Moon Zen Center

I am one who represents an intention. I am one who calls you from a distance to practice zazen. I am the home of your teachers, Maezen, Nyogen, Maezumi, and Buddha.

What is your gift or message for me?

The purity and integrity of Zen teachings flows through established lineages. At Hazy Moon we are not playing at being Buddhists.

What do you want me to do?

Don't pretend. Take the steps in your practice as you are able. Come to us when you can. Becoming officially Buddhist isn't as important as becoming, through practice, a Buddha.

Why did you show up today?

To honor the path you find yourself following.

If you have a shadow, what would it be? Or, what light do you offer?

The shadow is being pre-occupied with the idea of legitimacy and in judging other centers as not real or good enough.

It's Called: Freefall - Paloma Paris

Called to the devil and the devil did come
I said to the devil, "Devil, do you like drums?
Do you like cigarettes, dominoes, rum?"
He said, "Only sundown, Sundays, Christmas

Some day's end, when I need a few friends
Now and again, I could never hope to keep them"
Thought to give friends what I thought that they wanted
Never had they needed a good friend as I've been

Don't get me venting on friends who resent you
'Cause all you've ever done is been a noose to hang on to
They thought was a necklace and, reckless
They fell into hell where you both hang with nothing to do but

Scratch, kick, let gravity win, like
Fuck this, let gravity win, like
You could leave it all behind
Even the devil needs time alone sometimes

You could let it all go
You could let it all go
It's called freefall
It's called freefall

Called to the devil and the devil said, "Quit
Can't be bothered, better handle your shit
Keep about your wits, man, keep about your wits
Know yourself and who you came in with"

Can I sit down? I've been hustling all day
I can't even count how many souls I've made
Off the same deal you on
Remember, the devil ain't a friend to no one
But fun, true

You could let it all go
You could let it all go
It's called freefall
It's called freefall

Called to the Devil and the Devil said "Hey
Why you've been calling this late?
It's like 2 AM and the bars all close at ten in hell
That's a rule I made"

Anyway, you say you're too busy saving everybody else
To save yourself
And you don't want no help, oh, well
That's the story to tell

You could let it all go
You could let it all go
It's called freefall
It's called freefall

You could let it all go
You could let it all go
'Cause ain't shit free but falling out
And that shit's easy, let me show you how, it's like

You could let it all go
You could let it all go
It's called freefall
It's called freefall

SoulCollage® Community Suit: Green River Trail

I am one who gave you hope. I am one who sheltered your dreams and nurtured them. I am one who gave you space to play and begin making art. I was the ground in which your love with Alex was planted. I am one where the homemaker in you came alive and was given expression. I am one you left for new adventure but remain rooted in your heart.

What is your gift or message for me?

You asked, and you received.

What do you want me to do?

Remember me fondly.

Why did you show up today?

Because you are honoring your community, and I am part of that.

If you have a shadow, what would it be? Or, what light do you offer?

The shadow is pining for the past.

Delilah - Florence + The Machine

Now the sun is up and I'm going blind
Another drink just to pass the time
'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine
'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine
Maybe not tonight

It's a different kind of danger
And my feet are spinning around
Never knew I was a dancer
'Till Delilah showed me how

I can never let go
Never knew I was a dancer
I can never let go

'Cause I'm gonna be free and I'm gonna be fine
But maybe not tonight

And the bells are ringing out
And I'm calling for my mother
As I pull the pillars down

It's a different kind of danger
And my feet are spinning around
Never knew I was a dancer
'Till Delilah showed me how

I can never let go
I can never let go
Never knew I was a dancer
I can never let go

SoulCollage® Community Suit: Fremont Street

 

I am one who welcomed you to California. I am cozy and small and taught you to downsize your life. I witnessed your creative flow with making art and knitting. I was the chapel for your wedding. I am one who held you through two miscarriages and the third successful conception. I taught you the beauty of light and gave you a garden to play in.

What is your gift or message for me?

I was rejected by you at first glance, but I turned out to be exactly what you needed.

What do you want me to do?

Remember to look more closely at what you are tempted to dismiss.

Why did you show up today?

To make you smile.

If you have a shadow, what would it be? Or, what light do you offer?

Light is always present.

Limitations - East Forest

 

SoulCollage® Community Suit: Diane Marie Way

I am one whom you chose in the desperation of first-trimester exhaustion and nausea. I had four levels and 28 steps and was not ideal for a new family, but you bloomed within me nonetheless. I sheltered you through first steps and emerging teeth, through hundreds of hours of cuddling. Because I was a rental you had no fear of doing crafts and cooking with a toddler. I had a teeny backyard patio, and I was surrounded by pavement and traffic, yet you found ways to be outdoors. You thrived as a family here for three years, and many precious memories are entwined with me. 

What is your gift or message for me?

Ideal circumstances are not required for growth.

What do you want me to do?

Work with whatever is at hand.

Why did you show up today?

To give you a chance to have happy memories.

If you have a shadow, what would it be? Or, what light do you offer?

The shadow is allowing constraints and difficulties to be a reason to shut down.

I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers

When I wake up, well, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
When I go out, yeah, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
If I get drunk, well, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if I haver, hey, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you

But I would walk five hundred miles
And I would walk five hundred more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

When I'm working, yes, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
And when the money comes in for the work I do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you
When I come home (When I come home), oh, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if I grow old, well, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you

But I would walk five hundred miles
And I would walk five hundred more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

Da lat da (Da lat da), da lat da (Da lat da)
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da
Da lat da (Da lat da), da lat da (Da lat da)
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da

When I'm lonely, well, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you
And when I'm dreaming, well, I know I'm gonna dream
I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm with you
When I go out (When I go out), well, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
And when I come home (When I come home), yes, I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home with you
I'm gonna be the man who's coming home with you

But I would walk five hundred miles
And I would walk five hundred more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

Da lat da (Da lat da), da lat da (Da lat da)
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da
Da lat da (Da lat da), da lat da (Da lat da)
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da
Da lat da (Da lat da), da lat da (Da lat da)
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da
Da lat da (Da lat da), da lat da (Da lat da)
Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da

And I would walk five hundred miles
And I would walk five hundred more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

SoulCollage® Community Suit: Books

 

I am one who finds companionship in books. I am one who is sustained by the worlds that words create. Books have been part of my life since birth. Books are friends.

What is your gift or message for me?

Keep reading and absorbing. There is vast treasure to discover. Relax, because you won't get to read all the books.

What do you want me to do?

Share community. Give books. Pass them on when you are done with them.

Why did you show up today?

To celebrate with you!

If you have a shadow, what would it be? Or, what light do you offer?

The shadow is hoarding books instead of introducing them to the wider community.

Right Now - Rosi Golan

You used to quote Galileo to me in the room
Where you kept all your books and the pictures of the moon
Even though I knew it was never gonna last
Some things are better like that, mmm

I think about that moment with your dad in the fall
He never missed a beat and he loved to show you off
I didn’t know then that his time was so short
Some things we shouldn’t ignore, mmm

Like the cracks in the earth and your eyes when you hurt
How the boards in the floor left a crease in your shirt
That’s how I remember you right now
Like the fog on the street, how it made me feel
When you worked till you crashed with your hands on the wheel
That’s how I remember you right now, mmm

Somewhere in the walls of your second story flat
I hid a love letter that I can’t get back
With a picture of your dad and a word on a key
I hope you remember me

Like the cracks in the earth and your eyes when you hurt
How the boards in the floor left a crease in your shirt
That’s how I remember you right now
Like the fog on the street, how it made me feel
When you worked till you crashed with your hands on the wheel

That’s how I remember you right now, mmm
I know I shouldn’t pull the thread on the sweater that I’m wearing
But I can’t help but unravel
My heart it gets the best of me
You said you’d never fall in love in the dead of the winter
That’s how I remember you right now
Right now

Farewell Sweet Misty

In February I shared a post about Misty, our pet rabbit. She was diagnosed with cancer. We opted for palliative care and kept a sharp eye on her. On Sunday I woke to see that she was incontinent, her breathing was rapid, and she could hardly move. It was obvious that she was in pain, and waiting until her vet appointment two days hence would cause needless suffering. So we cried and loved on her and took her to the emergency vet, where we cried some more and let her go. 

The house feels empty. This little furball shaped our lives for seven years. She got us through Covid, middle and high school, the physical changes of my kiddo's puberty, and she was sweet and soft the entire time. She had a spicy personality and liked her autonomy. We learned to love and laugh at her "fuck you" kicks that sometimes followed if we did something she disliked. 

And that bun loved her fresh food -- especially bananas, pears, and apples. But veggies too. 

Our house is full of tears and good memories. 

SoulCollage® Community Suit: My Sunshine

 

I am one who brings light to your life. I am one who sparks your creativity. I am one who lives as your heart outside of your boy. I prove that miracles happen. I am your teacher of surrender. I am your love and your life.

What is your gift or message for me?

You are the perfect mother for me, and together we will find the way.

What do you want me to do?

Pay attention. Remember that we are born every second, and love me with all your power and imperfection.

Why did you show up today?

Because I am a force that will not go unnoticed.

If you have a shadow, what would it be? Or, what light do you offer?

The shadow is inclination to control. The light is simply celebration of her.

SoulCollage® Community Suit: Catholic Roots

I am one who was your first faith community. I taught you the importance of ritual. I was your first introduction to death. I was the one who took you in, who showed you how not to be in your spiritual journey.

What is your gift or message for me?

To remind you that Jesus and the Catholic church are not synonymous, and that there can be truth in imperfection. Messengers are fallible, but that doesn't mean the message is worthless. 

What do you want me to do?

Appreciate the foundation I provided. Continue your journey exploring the connections between Christ's message and those of other spiritual paths. Go to mass once in awhile and participate in communion with me.

Why did you show up today?

Because you miss that part of yourself. You want to connect with the girl who believe and with the holiness of ritual.

If you have a shadow, what would it be? Or, what light do you offer?

The shadow is getting swept up thinking about the heinous crimes the church has committed and forgetting the original message Christ communicated.