Yes, it's made by AI. But it's funny, ironic, true, and cynical as hell.
This afternoon all air traffic in the US has been halted due to a "communication issue". Yesterday, the FAA rolled out its new AI-enhanced traffic control system.
Hmmm. Could there be a connection?
I also, for a decade, had a penpal friendship with someone in whom I confided deeply. It was a process of journaling, too. I would often handwrite (and later type) 10-20 pages to him, and one year I wrote him almost daily. The correspondence we shared helped me see myself and believe in my worthiness. I credit this epistolary relationship with helping me achieve significant goals and life changes that improved my existence.
Private journaling doesn't inspire or fulfill me. And no one reads this blog, but this is a place where someone could read it.
I considered the closest people in my life, the ones in whom I confide regularly. The people whose love, wisdom, and steadfast years of presence have placed them within my heart. They are people who have helped me heal and cope with life's challenges; they are people who make me laugh and rejoice. I decided to take the first letter of their names (except one group which is part of a named collective), and use those letters to create a name.
As a result, it's a meaningful, symbolic name to me. Among the contenders, I ruled out names that had origins outside my heritage (to avoid cultural appropriation). The winner is also similar to the very first psychotherapist I worked with in my young adulthood. The name I chose feels like a caress when I speak it, it has a cadence similar to my first therapist, and it just feels good in my being.
The name is Jolisa. I'll be writing with her in mind. Of course, anyone is welcome to read what I publish here. My hope is that I will want to write here, because I will be thinking of these people and imagining they are reading.
Note: the photo is a cartoon my child created ten years ago at age nine.
I saw this and felt a flush of recognition. How many times a day do I say, "Oh my God this is..." in grateful amazement for something? More often than I imagine but less often than I could. Just this morning in the shower I thought, "This water feels wonderful flowing down me. How good it is to have running water!" These encounters with my life are a spiritual practice. It's a callback to this Zen prayer:
Let me respectfully remind you
Life and death are of supreme importance
Time swiftly passes and opportunity is lost
Each of us must strive to awaken; Awaken!This night your days will have diminished by one
Take heed; do not squander your life.-- Zen evening prayer
Available for sale at https://www.gardenfullofslugs.com
Relax...Take it easy...
You see the world through your cynical eyes
You're a troubled young man I can tell
You've got it all in the palm of your hand
But your hand's wet with sweat and your head needs a rest
And you're fooling yourself if you don't believe it
You're kidding yourself if you don't believe it
Why must you be such an angry young man
When your future looks quite bright to me
How can there be such a sinister plan
That could hide such a lamb, such a caring young man
You're fooling yourself if you don't believe it
You're kidding yourself if you don't believe it
Get up, get back on your feet
You're the one they can't beat and you know it
Come on, let's see what you've got
Just take your best shot and don't blow it
You're fooling yourself if you don't believe it
You're killing yourself if you don't believe it
Get up, get back on your feet
You're the one they can't beat and you know it
Come on, let's see what you've got
Just take your best shot and don't blow it.
Ah
Watch out, you might get what you're after
Cool, babies – strange but not a stranger
I'm an ordinary guy
Burning down the house
Hold tight, wait 'til the party's over
Hold tight, we're in for nasty weather
There has got to be a way
Burning down the house
Here's your ticket, pack your bag, it's time for jumping overboard
The transportation is here
Close enough but not too far, maybe you know where you are
Fighting fire with fire, ah!
All wet, here, you might need a raincoat
Shake-down, dreams walking in broad daylight
Three hundred sixty-five degrees
Burning down the house
It was once upon a place, sometimes I listen to myself
Gonna come in first place
People on their way to work say, "Baby, what did you expect?"
Gonna burst into flame, ah
Burning down the house
My house is out of the ordinary
That's right, don't wanna hurt nobody
Some things sure can sweep me off my feet
Burning down the house
No visible means of support and you have not seen nothing, yet
Everything's stuck together
I don't know what you expect staring into the TV set
Fighting fire with fire, ah
I'm feeling goodI just walked out of the showerQuantum jumped into my new lifeAnd step into my power likeAyeToday's gon be a good dayAyeI'm in alignment with the new meAyeToday's gon be a good dayAyeI'm in alignment with the new meAyeToday's gon be a good dayAyeI'm in alignment with the new me
I finally figured outJust who I amAnd what I wantIt's time that my potentialMakes up for the time I lostChasing dreams that weren't minePlanted in my subconscious mindAlways felt like I was wrongBut I was just learning what's rightAnd I've taken the time to sit and ponderWhat am I doing hereWith all of life's wondersJournal and meditateVibrate higher and resonateFocus deliberately and create a lifeI don't wanna escape
AyeToday's gonna be a good dayAyeI'm in alignment with the new meAyeToday's gonna be a good dayAyeI'm in alignment with the new meAyeToday's gonna be a good dayAyeI'm in alignment with the new meAyeToday's gonna be a good dayAyeI'm in alignment with the new me
I'm feeling goodI just walked out of the showerQuantum jumped into my new lifeAnd step into my power likeAyeToday's gonna be a good dayAyeI'm in alignment with the new me
It's the perfect time of yearSomewhere far away from hereI feel fine enough, I guessConsidering everything's a messThere's a restaurant down the streetWhere hungry people like to eatI could walk but I'll just driveIt's colder than it looks outside
Like a dream you try to remember but it's gone(Pinch me) Then you try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn(I'm still asleep) When you try to see the world, beyond your front door(Please God) Take your time, is the way I rhyme gonna make you smile(Tell me) When you realize that a guy my size might take a while(I'm still asleep) Just to try to figure out what all this is for
It's the perfect time of dayTo throw all your cares awayPut the sprinkler on the lawnAnd run through with my gym shorts onTake a drink right from the hoseAnd change into some dryer clothesClimb the stairs up to my roomSleep away the afternoon
Like a dream you try to remember but it's gone(Pinch me) Then you try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn(I'm still asleep) When you try to see the world, beyond your front door(Please God) Take your time, is the way I rhyme gonna make you smile(Tell me) When you realize that a guy my size might take a while(I'm still asleep) Just to try to figure out what all this is for
Pinch me, pinch me, cause I'm still asleepPlease God tell me that I'm still asleep
On an evening such as thisIt's hard to tell if I existIf I pack the car and leave this townWho'll notice that I'm not aroundI could hide out under thereI just made you say "underwear"I could leave but I'll just stayAll my stuff's here anyway
Like a dream you try to remember but it's gone(Pinch me) Then you try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn(I'm still asleep) When you try to see the world, beyond your front door(Please God) Take your time, is the way I rhyme gonna make you smile(Tell me) When you realize that a guy my size might take a while(I'm still asleep) Just to try to figure out what all this is for
Try to figure out what all this is for(Pinch me) (I'm still asleep) Try to see the world beyond your front door(Pinch me) (I'm still asleep) Try to figure out what all this is for
(On my way, on my way)
(On my way, on my way)
I would like to reach out my hand
I may see you, I may tell you to run (On my way, on my way)
You know what they say about the young
Well, pick me up with golden hand
Oombayseeyou, I may tell you to run (On my way, on my way)
You know what they say about the young
Well, I would like to hold my little hand
And we will run, we will, we will crawl, we will
I would like to hold my little hand
And we will run, we will, we will crawl
Send me on my way (On my way)
Send me on my way (On my way)
Send me on my way (On my way)
Send me on my way (On my way)
Send me on my way (On my way)
Send me on my way (On my way)
Send me on my way (On my way)
Mm hmm (On my way)
I would like to reach out my hand
I may see you, I may tell you to run (On my way, on my way)
You know what they say about the young
Now pick me up with golden hand
I may see you, I may tell you to run (On my way, on my way)
You know what they say about the young
Well, I would like to hold my little hand
And we will run, we will, we will crawl, we will
I would like to hold my little hand
And we will run, we will, we will crawl
Send me on my way (On my way)
Send me on my way (On my way)
Send me on my way (On my way)
Hmmm(on my way)
Well, I would like to hold my little hand
And we will run, we will, we will crawl, we will
I would like to hold my little hand
And we will run, we will, we will crawl
Send me on my way
Send me on my way
Send me on my way
On my way
Send me on my way
Send me on my way
Send me on my way
(ooooh oooh oooh ooooh oooh oooh)
(Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey)
On my way
(Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey)
On my way
I would like to reach out my hand
I may see you, I may tell you to run (On my way, on my way)
You know what they say about the young
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you very much
How d'you do, I see you've met my faithful handyman
He's just a little brought down because when you knocked
He thought you were the candyman
Don't get strung out by the way that I look
Don't judge a book by its cover
I'm not much of a girl by the light of day
But by night I'm one hell of a lover
I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Sensational, Transylvania
So let me show you around, maybe play you a sound
You look like you're both pretty groovy
Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie
I'm glad we caught you at home, could we use your phone?
We're both in a bit of a hurry
We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car
We don't want to be any worry
So you got caught with a flat, well, how about that?
Well babies, don't you panic
By the light of the night when it all seems alright
I'll get you a satanic mechanic
I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Sensational, Transylvania.
So why don't you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite?
I could show you my favorite obsession
I've been making a man with blond hair and a tan
And he's good for relieving my tension
I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Sensational, Transylvania.
So come up to the lab. And see what's on the slab
I see you shiver with antici... pation!
But maybe the rain isn't really to blame
So I'll remove the cause, but not the symptom
Tumble outta bed
And I stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
And yawn and stretch
And try to come to life
Jump in the shower
And the blood starts pumpin'
Out on the street
The traffic starts jumpin'
The folks like me on the job from 9 to 5
Workin' 9 to 5,
What a way to make a livin'
Barely gettin' by
It's all takin' and no givin'
They just use your mind
And they never give you credit
It's enough to drive you crazy
If you let it
9 to 5, for service and devotion
You would think that I
Would deserve a fair promotion
Want to move ahead
But the boss won't seem to let me
I swear sometimes that man is out to get me
They let you dream
Just to watch 'em shatter
You're just a step
On the boss-man's ladder
But you got dreams
He'll never take away
You're in the same boat
With a lot of your friends
Waitin' for the day your ship'll come in
'N' the tide's gonna turn
And it's all gonna roll your way
Workin' 9 to 5
What a way to make a livin'
Barely gettin' by
It's all takin' and no givin'
They just use your mind
And you never get the credit
It's enough to drive you crazy
If you let it
9 to 5, yeah
They got you where they want you
There's a better life
And you think about it, don't you?
It's a rich man's game
No matter what they call it
And you spend your life
Puttin' money in his wallet
9 to 5, whoa
What a way to make a livin'
Barely gettin' by
It's all takin' and no givin'
They just use your mind
And they never give you credit
It's enough to drive you crazy
If you let it
9 to 5, yeah
They got you where they want you
There's a better life
And you dream about it, don't you?
It's a rich man's game
No matter what they call it
And you spend your life
Puttin' money in his wallet
Working 9 to 5
Love's gonna bring us back alive
Love's gonna bring us back alive
Over mountains where no one goes
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
We've been runnin'
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Gotta keep runnin'
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
Till love brings us back alive
We've been outlaws on the run
Sometimes outlaws on the run
I was just a baby when I fired my gun
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
That's why I keep a-runnin', runnin'
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Gotta keep a-runnin'
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Till love brings us back alive
Well, the river's only water
And the mountain's only gold
They'll get old
Tell me, will you walk through this world alone?
Over mountains
We'll come home
Through the desert
We're gonna come home
There's no water
Where this wind has blown
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
Well the rain come down
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
But we can't stop now
Oh baby, love bring us back alive
Hey! Hey!
Down there by the river is a man
Whose horn is twisted into shapes
Unknown to the wicked and the wise
And he bears the look of an animal
Who's seen things no animal should ever see
He has been driven beyond all towns
And all the systems until now though it is
Long past too far he keeps going
Because it's a desert
Because it's a desert
We come to the river
We'll walk away from all this now
We come to the water
We'll walk away from all this now
She first saw him he was standing in the doorway
Illuminated from behind by a light
Though imaginary posses chased them
To these distant adobes
Standing on the cliffs today
I thought I saw you below
My shadow growing smaller
It's a desert because
Because it's a desert
They'll be asking me about you forever
I guess
We come to the river
We'll walk away from all this now
We come to the water
We'll walk away from all this now
Long coats on the prairie
Lying in the dust
Who can I turn to?
Who can I trust?
Were you walking on the water?
Playing in the sun?
But the world is turning faster
Than it did when I was young
When I was young
When I was youngOh, when I was young I was a wild, wild one
The most as you'll ever go
Is back where you used to know
If grown-ups could laugh this slow
Where as you watch the hour snow
Years may go by
So hold on to your special friend
Here, you'll need something to keep her in
"Now you stay inside this foolish grin..."
Though any day your secrets end
Then again
Years may go by
You saved your own special friend
'Cause here you need something to hide her in
And you stay inside that foolish grin
When everyday now secrets end
Oh, and then again
Years may go by
Close your eyes, breathe it in
Loosen, loosen, babyYou don't have to carryThe weight of the world in your muscles and bonesLet go, let go, let goLoosen, loosen, babyYou don't have to carryThe weight of the world in your muscles and bonesLet go, let go, let go
Loosen, loosen, babyYou don't have to carryThe weight of the world in your muscles and bonesLet go, let go, let go
Loosen, loosen, babyYou don't have to carryThe weight of the world in your muscles and bonesLet go, let go, let go
Holy breath, and holy nameWill you ease, will you ease this pain
Holy breath, and holy nameWill you ease, will you ease this pain
Holy breath (Loosen, loosen, baby)And holy name (You don't have to carry)Will you ease (The weight of the world in your muscles and bones)Will you ease this pain (Let go, let go, let go)
Loosen, loosen, baby (Holy breath)You don't have to carry (and holy name)The weight of the world in your muscles and bones (Will you ease)Let go, let go, let go (Will you ease this pain)
In August 2022, after years of declining health and mobility and increasing pain, I made a decision to change my life. This is a photo of me in September 2022.
I've been walking around this town
And I've decided I don't ever wanna be another face in the crowd
I've been talking to people I meet
Saying, "I've been thinking about leaving and I'm taking next to nothing with me"
And I know that public opinion says that I should settle down
But there's something inside my heart that fights against the crowd
And it is wild, wild, wild, I am
I've been thinking of things I don't know
And I'm not about to settle with the present if my heart wants to go
You've got your convictions and I've got mine
But if you're trying to tame the lion in me it'll be a waste of your time
And I know that public opinion says to be a realist
But if you tame the beast in me, then I would not exist
'Cause I am wild, wild, wild, I am
'Cause I am wild, wild, wild, I am
Some days, I'm treading the water
And feel like it's getting deep
Some nights, I drown in the weight
Of the things that I think I need
Sometimes, I feel incomplete, yeah
But you always say to me, say to me
Oh, you say, "Someday when we're older
We'll be shining like we're gold
Yeah, won't we? (Won't we?) Won't we? (Won't we?)
And someday, when we're older
I'll be yours and you'll be mine
Babe happy (happy), happy"
Oh, you say, "Someday when we're older
We won't worry 'bout the things
That we don't need, we don't need
Yeah, one day down the line
Before we both run out of time, you're gonna see
That someday, we'll be all that we need"
Someday, we'll be all that we need
I've been the best, been the worst
Been a ghost in a crowded room
(Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)
I took a chance, took a turn
Took a dive, and it led to you
(Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)
So many times that I wish
We could be anywhere but here
So many times that I wish
I could see what you see so clear, so clear
Oh, you say, "Someday, when we're older
We'll be shining like we're gold
Yeah, won't we? (Won't we?) Won't we? (Won't we?) Yeah
And someday, when we're older
I'll be yours and you'll be mine
Babe happy (happy), happy"
Oh, you say, "Someday, when we're older
We won't worry 'bout the things
That we don't need (we don't need), we don't need
Yeah, one day, down the line
Before we both run out of time, you're gonna see
That someday, we'll be all that we need"
Someday, we'll be all that we need
Oh, you say, "Someday, when we're older
We'll be shining like we're gold
Yeah, won't we? Won't we?
Someday, down the line
Before we both run out of time, you're gonna see
That someday, we'll be all that we need"
Of the three foxes (mom and kits) that gamboled and hunted in our yard in spring and early summer, one seems to have remained. I like to think it's the mother. Yesterday we saw her having breakfast! The photos are not ideal. She sat and started to eat.
