Say Good Morning

What do you do 

when you head into the morning 

to pick dandelion leaves for the rabbit, 

and you meet a

pea-sized spot of joy on a plant?

-Kathryn Harper

Sometimes I Get the Zoomies

Sometimes when I have sessions with clients I internally experience what I call the zoomies. This is a term those of us with pet rabbits use (along with binkies) to describe a frisky, frenetic state we sometimes observe in them. It's a high energy expression that I interpret as sheer joy. In my situation, it's an emotional, spiritual, existential event.

It arises from the interaction I have with a client, when my heart feels connected to theirs, when I am flooded with gratitude to be in the room with them, in this role, doing what I've been gifted and trained to do: to serve in ways that help the person heal and grow. Sometimes this feeling brings me to the point where I feel close to tears. Another word for what I feel is love.

How fortunate I am! I'm grateful to life, and I'm grateful to myself for persevering through all the obstacles and challenges over the years to establish myself in this role. And lastly, I'm grateful for my husband, whose steadfast company and material provision over many years sustained me while I took a detour from the profession to immerse myself in motherhood and other experiences, before I wound my way back to this role.

“Footloose” by Porsupah Ree, CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Noticing

I was cleaning the sink the other evening, and when I pulled the stopper out of the soapy water, this large bubble was attached.

Naturally I whipped out my cell phone to take some photos. I like this one best (despite the shadow of my finger in the lower corner), because the reflective iridescence is beautiful. I see the kitchen windowpane at the top, and other indiscernible objects from the counter. It lasted several minutes; then a subtle shift in the air breached the bubble and *pop*, it was gone. 

I would categorize this as a glimmer -- a moment of fascination and joy. 

Dance With Me

                     

Dance With Me

There I stood, waiting for the express
While pondering ways to renew
my flagging spirit, which struggled to climb
life's mounting challenges, when I saw you, serene,
your hands moving in the air, a kind of dance --
the glorious joy on your face making you rich.

Gazing around, I noticed the world's colors were rich.
In each person I sensed the soul's desire to express, 
to enter into the dance.
I felt that I could summon the energy to renew
and make myself serene
like an arbor trellis with those roses that climb.

To reach far, to stretch toward goals that require I climb --
this makes life worthwhile, and I feel rich.
In these moments, my heart beats serene.
I vibrate with life and tremble to express,
to evolve, to embrace impermanence and thus renew
life's eternal dance.

So, which steps will we choose to dance?
Will it be the hustle, the two-step, the fandango climb?
Or maybe a slow waltz, to allow our breathing to renew
while rhythmically moving to the beat, slow and rich.
Perhaps we will lean in to share a kiss, to express
what tantalizes us as we attempt to appear serene.

We might do this under the silver light of the moon, serene
in the movement of the dance
and the people watching -- their murmurs will express
how desire steeps, distills, intensifies, like the climb
of mercury trapped in a glass tube, the red rich
as blood, like the lungs give oxygen to renew.

And after we untwine ourselves, we turn within to renew
the relationship with the One who never leaves, the serene
companion who understands money does not make one rich;
nor does having it guarantee an invitation to the dance
and that life is often one painful, slogging climb
to an illusory summit that cannot contain all we express.

Form and emptiness express all that is, a serene

invitation to renew your energy and dance with life.

Free from need to delve or climb, rich beyond measure.

-Kathryn Harper  

Appreciating Glimmers

I've been known to pack away my favorite Ben & Jerry's flavor, Chunky Monkey, every once in awhile. I can pretty much get that any time. However, every year in February I await the return of one of my favorite treats, the Baskin Robbins flavor of the month: Love Potion #31. It's a decadent white chocolate and raspberry ice cream, infused with raspberry swirl, chocolate chips, and little chocolate hearts filled with raspberry. I try to enjoy is several times throughout the month. This is a small joy, a glimmer, that I appreciate returning every year. 

Implacably Aloof

"At the start of this quest, I had no way of imagining that long after it was over I would still be struggling to formulate a coherent response to the miseries the canyon inflicted on us, the satisfactions that would later overtake the memories of that misery, or the yearning and splendor that transcended them all. I had no way to fathom the force with which the canyon's austerity, its grandeur, and its radiance -- traits that stand implacably aloof to human hopes and ambitions -- can impart a perspective that will enable you to see yourself as nothing more, and nothing less, than a grain of sand amid the immensity of rock and time and the stars at night."

-Kevin Fedarko, A Walk in the Park: the True Story of a Spectacular Misadventure in the Grand Canyon

Full Circle

 

Full Circle

You held your infant daughter
in your arms
agonizing, cajoling,
willing your love to her.
This baby expected
perfection--
that you read her mind
and provide
every need, every want.
Sometimes that infant
arises now,
and your daughter rails
against you
for not possessing omniscience.

You jiggled your toddler daughter
on your lap
as she laughed,
singing to her,
calling her your "little Punkin."
This half-pint drank
your love
as a thirsty babe
guzzles the milk of life into every cell.
Sometimes that toddler
gazes now
with adoration for her infinite
mother
content and whole in her trust.

You watched your teenage daughter
from afar
as she brooded,
wishing her victory
over that devil called depression.
This young woman envied
your detachment
and accused you
of confusing her
and burdening her beyond control.
Sometimes that girl-woman
rages now
crying, wondering where
you hid
your secret fountain of peace.

You love your grown daughter
with all your life
as she strives,
reaching to her
with the gift of friendship.
This woman recognizes
your humanity
and gently removes you
from the pedestal
to a place in her heart.
Sometimes this woman
perceives now
that though we are family
we can meet
somewhere in the middle. 

-Kathryn Harper

One Afternoon

One Afternoon

Bellied up to the kitchen counter
I bite into a pear and chew,
watching the empty hammock shimmy
in the yard. The wind sweeps gray
cotton balls overhead, rushing
them to some destination eastward.
Rubies and topaz fall from tree
branches. I stare, mesmerized,
as juice drips from my chin.

-Kathryn Harper

“The Perfect Pear” by David Gallagher, CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 

Neighborhood Activism

 

I'll begin this post with the standard disclaimer that I do not support or encourage anyone breaking the law and putting graffiti up in public places. I'll say, as well, that I have seen visually gorgeous and compelling graffiti on occasion, especially that of Banksy. But don't do it, 'kay?

And yet, someone in my neighborhood recently went around spraying "FUCK TRUMP" in vivid red on utility boxes, walls, and other places -- one of them being the stop sign limit line at an intersection two blocks from me. Another place I saw it was on a construction fence near me, where a massive Kaiser addition is being built. I waited a day to grab a photo and it had been painted over, but I took a photo and can still see the underlying message. 

I admit to feeling a zing of satisfaction and solidarity that someone has decided their activism involves painting the world with a repudiation of this man, what he represents, and all the harm he has committed. Thank you, mystery neighborhood activist! Well done.

When the ICE agent is Canadian… | This Hour Has 22 Minutes

This is your feel-good video for the day!

Practice

The art journal practice is strong. Some days I do one page and others result in several. The process draws me into wordless intuition. It's a little mysterious. I always enjoy it and like the results, and sometimes I feel as though a bit of magic unfolded. Today felt like that.

Low Winter Sun

Low Winter Sun 

The sun peers

over my shoulder

through the window.

Winter sunlight arrives

deferentially -- or perhaps

casually, like a cat deciding

to settle for a nap against

a poet on the sofa.

-Kathryn Harper

Walk Off the Earth - Fireflies

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep
'Cause they fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You'd think me rude but I would just stand and stare

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance
A foxtrot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems
I fall asleep

Leave my door open just a crack
(Please take me away from here)
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac
(Please take me away from here)
Why do I tire of counting sheep?
(Please take me away from here)
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep
(Please take me, please take me away from here)

To ten million fireflies
I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes
Got misty eyes as they said farewell (we sailing away)
But I'll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar (we sailing away)

I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems (we sailing away)
I'd like to make myself believe (believe)
That planet Earth (turn, turns) turns slowly (slowly)
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems (I fall asleep)
I'd like to make myself believe
Planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

How I Spent Today

I spent part of today participating in the online volunteering with Action for Happiness. 

Originally I was seeking community, a group to visit and participate in locally in person. And perhaps I will find this. However, there are no groups associated with this organization in the western United States, so I figured I'd take the free training and see what develops. 

The training was easy and the concepts are simple. As with much wisdom, simple does not equate with low-effort. Experiencing joy on the regular is a practice; it only develops with continuous effort. 

AFH organizes itself around ten key points that form an acronym: GREAT DREAM. Attending to these keys contribute to one's own happiness as well as that of others. Additionally, not doing harm is a potent contribution to well-being. 

Giving: doing kind things for others

These acts can be small! The driver who is trying to merge into your lane? Let her. Look at the clerk as he rings up your purchase and say hello sincerely. Not adding to unhappiness also counts; if you're tempted to flip someone off because they did something thoughtless, take a breath and let it go.

   

Relating: connect with other people

We live in a digital world, and we've succumbed to the idea that social media is truly connection. To an extent it does provide connection, but in a limited way. We need to share space with others, to speak to people in person, or on the phone in real time engagement. We've got to leave our safe little caves where we watch the shadows on the wall and call that interaction, and take a little risk to participate in the three dimensional world.

 

Exercising: take care of your body

One thing I have discovered in the past three years is that my body -- and yours -- needs to move. And it deserves to move and feel good, even if it's not in great shape or sized according to cultural standards. In August 2022 I realized I was on a bad trajectory with what I ate, how I moved, and the weight I carried. I was in pain, and I knew that the extra weight would create more health problems as I age. So I began to move -- short stints of strength training -- to get strong. Only after I became a bit stronger did I begin to change how I ate. I knew I had to figure out how to eat to drop weight but in a way that didn't make me rebel and drop out. What worked for me was accepting that I need to record what I eat diligently; I can eat whatever I want, but I need to be honest with myself. This enabled me to better understand my energy needs. Three years later, I've dropped 77 pounds. I'm technically still overweight, but it's a whole new life. Exercise makes me feel centered, and sometimes it makes me feel awesome. You deserve to move!

 

Awareness: live mindfully

This buzzword, along with "zen", has permeated culture for the past couple of decades, but what does it really mean? For me, it means pausing, breathing, experiencing my senses, even if for one minute. It means staying off my phone while I eat and actually savoring the food. To listen to the sounds of my neighborhood. To take a break from my buzzing thoughts.

 

Trying Out: keep learning new things

Anything new! A recipe. A hobby. Read a new genre of book. Try a puzzle. Explore Duolingo. Learning keeps us vital. A curious mind prevents boredom.  

 

Direction: have goals to look forward to

What would you like to accomplish or change in your life? It could be a big goal. These are best approached in smaller stages. Or your goal could be to take a vacation, try a new cuisine, or go to bed a bit more regularly for better sleep. 

 

Resilience: find ways to bounce back 

This can be hard. We are evolutionarily designed to look for danger, to be cautious, which can result in seeing threat everywhere, feeling competitive, and judging oneself harshly for falling short. There is one person who will be with you and never leave you: yourself. Our life work is to learn to be our own friend and loving parent to ourselves, even if we did not receive ideal parenting. To try and if we fail, to say, "It's okay. Learning takes effort. I'm allowed to be imperfect and grow." 

 

Emotions: look for what's good

Again, we can get caught in negative assessments and stories of ourselves and others, and of the world. I'm not suggesting you be toxically positive and to ignore feelings such as sadness, disappointment, or anger. I'm asking you not to shortchange yourself by dismissing the good. If you are temperamentally more pessimistic, as I am, this will take effort. In my effort to be "an informed citizen" I find myself doomscrolling the news, but that brings me down. And it helps no one. So I balance this by turning my attention to appreciating the good as much as I can. 

 

Acceptance: be comfortable with who you are

This is a life project. It's connected to resilience. To accept that it's all right to make mistakes, to mess up -- it's a fact of being alive. What matters is learning, and learning to repair when needed. It's knowing some things about yourself that you like, and knowing your strengths, as well as knowing the areas you would like to change or need to improve, and being reasonable with your self-assessment. 

 

Meaning: be part of something bigger

We are not just here for our own satisfaction and gain. We need each other. Humans seek and create meaning in their lives. We are already part of something bigger. This understanding has the potential to make one feel insignificant, but it also means that we belong in the natural order of things. Someone asked me recently what I love about myself. My answer was: "That "I" am a universe of systems and life forms existing in a larger universe of life forms in this mystery." My body is made of cells, systems (skeletal, muscular, vascular, etc.) and bacteria populate it everywhere. All of it contributes to my existence. In turn, I am part of a family, a city, a state, a country, a culture, the human race, the world, the universe. I interact with all of it and have impact. I matter. So do you.

Perhaps you'd like to join me?

Take Action

It's the first day of another year. I don't do resolutions. But I do spend time considering my goals and intentions for the year and write them down. I use this as a map to check in during the year and see how satisfied I am with my life. This post is not specifically about that, however. Rather I uploaded a calendar for the month featuring small ways to nurture happiness. Visuals help me remember. The calendar is from the non-profit Action For Happiness, which I do plan to learn more about and perhaps get involved. 

Marcel The Shell With Shoes On | Official Trailer HD | A24

If you ever get a chance to watch this quirky movie, you won't regret it. That is, if you enjoy movies about love, connection, grief, joy, and wonder.  

Poem

Jagged peaks meet

ice-capped glaciers;

braided rivers weave 

across windswept plains.

-Kathryn Harper

Haiku

Last plucked from the vine,

summer's juicy gift lingers

destined for my tongue.

-Kathryn Harper

Haiku

Bookended by oaks

glowing sunset confection,

sweet sherbet colors.

-Kathryn Harper

Haiku

A gondola skims
across the bay, ushering
the evening's peace.

-Kathryn Harper