A Request

A Request

Amorevita, you have been the sturdy taproot of my life.
You have been the woven net I long to trust in the world.
And now I ask you to scatter me.
I ask you to be the farmer that sows and winnows me across the fields of my life.
Do not forget me now.
Come to me as a river of courage, a rhythmic surf.
Ignite me like the brilliant beam of the lighthouse.

-Kathryn Harper

Foxy Neighbors

Okay, terrible picture because I was so far away. But this morning around 11 a.m. I look up from my desk and who do I see but one of the kits! I observed her avidly watching the birds on the lawn searching for bugs. (Birds are aware though, not likely in danger.) 

Every single night this week they have rambunctiously chased around the yard. All night. No complaints here, but it is vexing because I can hardly see them!

My neighbor sent this photo from his side of the fence. Adorable. Cuddled for a nap. 

Celebration!

On this, my 63rd birthday, nature's gift to me is the delight of three gray foxes in my back yard. We noticed one fox June 4, and my husband saw two last week. This morning all three were scampering around the yard. They are moving between my neighbor's yard (where I think they have a den) and ours. This photo is not high quality; they move so fast. I think it's a mom and kits. 

As best as I can tell, this is the Townsend's Gray Fox, a subspecies of gray fox that lives in northern California and Oregon. We live close to the foothills of Santa Cruz mountains. The hills a mile away have coyotes, deer, turkeys, rattlesnakes, and mountain lions (rare but there). Mountain lions and coyotes prey on the fox, so it makes sense they are denning farther away. We have rats (that like to eat the fruit from trees), so I don't mind having the foxes around. It has never happened in all the years I've lived in this house, and it feels incredibly precious to witness this. 

This morning I have a doctor appointment, and this afternoon I have a radiation treatment. Welcome to the sixties! (Not really. I've noticed an upward trend in medical visits over the past five years or so.) People ask if I'm doing something special. Nope! I don't need to. As long as it's a good day, with moments of joy and savoring, it's special enough. 

I received two birthday cards (from husband and son) that were perfectly chosen, as well as some gifts. One of the gifts being an array of circle punches ranging in diameter from 3 inches to .3 inch. I look forward to cutting and playing with circles and making collages. I will encircle the world!

The other gift is a new fitness band of a different brand (Garmin), since the Fitbit I was using kept flaking out. And we all know the unmeasured life is not worth living! (Joke!) It's been a useful tool in becoming more healthy and maintaining. Some of us just do better when we keep track of ourselves.

I'm thinking this evening I'll have a backyard fire in the fire pit. I love a good campfire. It's Midsummer! I'm celebrating the light and life.

Crossroads

Crossroads

My body, now that we will not be traveling together much longer 

I begin to feel a new tenderness toward you, very raw and unfamiliar, 

like what I remember of love when I was young -- 

love that was so often foolish in its objectives 

but never in its choices, its intensities.

Too much demanded in advance, too much that could not be promised --

My soul has been so fearful, so violent: 

forgive its brutality.

As though it were that soul, my hand moves over you cautiously,

not wishing to give offense

but eager, finally, to achieve expression as substance:

it is not the earth I will miss, 

it is you I will miss.

- Louise Glück

Sometimes I Get the Zoomies

Sometimes when I have sessions with clients I internally experience what I call the zoomies. This is a term those of us with pet rabbits use (along with binkies) to describe a frisky, frenetic state we sometimes observe in them. It's a high energy expression that I interpret as sheer joy. In my situation, it's an emotional, spiritual, existential event.

It arises from the interaction I have with a client, when my heart feels connected to theirs, when I am flooded with gratitude to be in the room with them, in this role, doing what I've been gifted and trained to do: to serve in ways that help the person heal and grow. Sometimes this feeling brings me to the point where I feel close to tears. Another word for what I feel is love.

How fortunate I am! I'm grateful to life, and I'm grateful to myself for persevering through all the obstacles and challenges over the years to establish myself in this role. And lastly, I'm grateful for my husband, whose steadfast company and material provision over many years sustained me while I took a detour from the profession to immerse myself in motherhood and other experiences, before I wound my way back to this role.

“Footloose” by Porsupah Ree, CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

A Contemplation

A Contemplation

My body is no longer my own. It contains a
sprout like a fiddlehead fern frond, curled
inward on itself.

Microscopic cells mystically multiply
with fervor, their intention known only
to themselves.

While I breathe, while I sleep, whether
I churn like a river or remain a placid lake,
this body has

Its own mission. Summer is coming.

-Kathryn Harper

The Huron Carol - Canadian Christmas Chant

Haiku

Oh, Mother Morro!

Steadfast refuge for wildlife;

sacred ancient land.

-Kathryn Harper