An Anniversary

In August 2022, after years of declining health and mobility and increasing pain, I made a decision to change my life. This is a photo of me in September 2022.

And this is me today, 70 pounds lighter.

First I made the decision to get stronger, so I started strength training twice a week for 20 minutes at a time at a local specialty gym called The Exercise Coach. Then I added cardio to my habits; my favorite gym machine is the elliptical, and I'm a big fan of walking. After a couple of months, I was ready to reduce my intake of calories gradually and track what I ate. I figured there was no timeline except the rest of my life, so progress could be incremental. The practice of losing weight a few ounces per week is what kept me going, because I decided that all foods were acceptable to eat as long as I was honest and tracked it, that starvation would lead to exhaustion and rebellion, and the key to all this is feeling good in my body while shedding weight. 

After the first 25 pounds shed, I saw an endocrinologist who suggested I try a GLP-1 medication. She said it would likely help, as I had "hacked my own psychology" by doing healthy things. I would not be using the shot and expecting it to do all the work. So I tried it, and I am among the percentage of people who were not disabled by side effects and for whom it worked. It was very odd to experience the shift. "Food noise" is real. The medication quieted that. It also dampened my feeling of appetite for many other good things. But I've figured out a way to adapt. I imagine I will take this medication for the rest of my life, as part of the chronic condition of obesity.

I'm now at a weight I was in my thirties, and I was functional and strong. I can remember well-intended suggestions by men that if I just lost some weight, I'd be really pretty. But honestly? I feel and look good.

So yes, I could lose more weight. I'm technically in the "overweight" BMI for my height. However, I have figured out a way to live and enjoy my life, even with the limitations of exhaustion (from aging, from battling cancer, and surgery). So for the time being, I'll keep on as I have been. 

The Freshman Deposit

This photo is me and my kiddo, Bean. It's the night before the big move-in day for college. An impromptu photo at the restaurant. Tuesday was move-in day and orientation. It went very well, though it was poignant and exhausting. My husband and I long ago had a "Babymoon" when I was five months pregnant (we'd never gotten a honeymoon). Since Bean is attending college in the Pacific Northwest, where we took the Babymoon, we reprised part of that on the drive home. And we decided to name this overall trip "The Freshman Deposit." Cuz we deposited him at school, and this whole endeavor is a deposit for his future. 

It's not a California summer road trip without construction and one-lane roads with long waits. We encountered eight of them in one day.

But the coastal redwoods sure are beautiful!

Now I'm home in this weirdly quiet house. It's not as though Bean made much noise, but I feel the absence of his energy profoundly. Mr. Aenigmas and I will need to develop a new normal. 

I suppose I could feel grateful that the foxes left a welcome home gift. Crow! (Ew.) Yes, at least one fox has remained and made our yard home. I see it sometimes wander through in the afternoon. Sigh. I really am grateful to live alongside wildlife even if I need to clean up gruesome gifts. (Sometimes they return to eat leftovers, but this looks like it had been around a few days.)

The Graduate

The days are long but the years are short. The first week of June we celebrated our son's completion of high school and the 13 years of formal education provided by the public school system. This is a significant achievement, not to be dismissed by the fact that earning a good living requires education beyond high school. We are really proud of our son and excited for where he'll go in the fall, into a more independent venture. 

On The Resolve of Minnesota

Haiku

Old rickety steps

each step strewn with leaf debris

leading nowhere new.

-Kathryn Harper