I want to encourage you. Although you feel stuck in your overgrown forest, perplexed about how to change it, overwhelmed and frustrated with yourself that more progress has not happened, you are changing. You are noticing, you are learning, and those alone are evidence of change.
You long for the one book that will provide guidance. And here is the truth: you are the book. You are writing your life. Other books can inform you (goodness knows I believe this), but they cannot solve you, or for you. The information they offer -- you must metabolize and integrate it -- you must write it into your self through exploration and action, and through developing trust in your self and Life. Our conversations are another part of your learning. I'm your "study partner": a witness, clarifier, and encourager. But your life is entirely your creation.
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke